Great so I'll just clear my next week or so, thanks

I'm not going to remember what grade they got on a math test, but I'll remember this.

Just tell them whistles are illegal and deal with the consequences when they find out the truth

At least the dad tax won't get me arrested for trying my best

Gushers were the holy grail of desserts.

The time spent talking to friends and family is so short mainly because I start talking about the weather

Not knowing isn't a weakness, it's an opportunity to learn

And they both do an equally good job explaining it to you

Same feeling as when she brings home pizza unannounced

Ah yes, the great milkshake incident of 2018

They're not laughing because they're too busy taking it all in

You're fighting a losing battle against nature, but I support the effort