It often feels like toddlers are some sort of other-world species doing their best human impressions. Actually, aside from the “other world” thing, that’s basically what toddlers are. They have all of the equipment to become humans, but none of the software. Toddlers wobble around absorbing information, learning from the people around them what it means to act like a person. The most beautiful thing about toddlers is just how little they understand about judgment from others – it’s a sort of freedom that leads them to do absurd things daily because, well, who cares?
Twitter user dadmann_walking zeroed in on one aspect of toddlerhood that leaves parents around the world completely baffled – their eating habits. Toddlers are in a constant phase of experimentation, doing whatever the heck they want to figure out the world around them. But somehow, even with that intense curiosity, toddlers are picky as heck when it comes to the foods they’re willing to eat. Parents regularly throw up their hands and cave to their little ones’ whims (within reason), happy that they’re at least eating something.
Dadmann_walking figured that maybe, just maybe, these toddlers were onto something. The father of three turned to Twitter with an odd request, one he quickly regretted.
“Tell me some really weird food combinations that your toddlers have eaten,” he wrote, “and i will choose some and make a video of me eating these things.”
Tell me some really weird food combinations that your toddlers have eaten and i will choose some and make a video of me eating these things.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 31, 2021
According to his Twitter bio, dadmann’s youngest is six years old. He’s far removed from the toddler years and clearly hasn’t caught a kid drinking ketchup straight from the bottle in a while. The replies quickly poured in, and uh, they’re not pretty.
Haha
2yo insisted on sliced apples and ketchup for breakfast the other day.
— Jared (@jaredpatz) April 1, 2021
Hahaha
Sugar cookies with icing dipped in ranch.
— Tracy Pierceall 📚❤ (@Tracy_Pierceall) March 31, 2021
Hahahaha
My kid once mixed Cheerios into beef stew.
He also used to eat goldfish crackers with milk like a bowl of cereal.
And also manage to drink a cup of apple juice and a cup of milk simultaneously. Via 1 straw into each cup or double sippy cups.— degenerate friend (@krivar) April 6, 2021
Ok, well now I just feel bad
“tuna cone”. Tuna salad that is put into a mini ice cream cone (instead of ice cream)
-dont judge. I was desperate to get the kid to eat 🤣🤣. he ate it though!
— SheMathmatates (@SheMathmatates) March 31, 2021
Like an absolute champ, this dad kept his word. But first, he had to get some supplies.
i fully regret this tweet.
i’ll pick some out and see if i can do it tonight or tomorrow. basically all i need is milk, ketchup and yogurt and random food and dip it in those things.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 31, 2021
In a two-part stomach-churning series, dadmann came through. “None of these foods should go together,” he begins. “None of them.”
Completely exasperated, he digs in. Hot dogs dipped in blueberry yogurt, so many things dipped in ketchup, banana dipped in ranch dressing, a peanut butter and mustard sandwich – understandably, he can’t even get most of these combos down. But the point is he tried, and for that, we’re both proud and horrified.
Watch at your own risk.
Part 1
NASTY FOOD YOUR TODDLERS EAT!!
PART 1 pic.twitter.com/gbA1LeEBgI
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 7, 2021
And (ugh) part 2
NASTY FOOD YOUR TODDLERS EAT
PART 2. pic.twitter.com/xL6zojzLIh
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 7, 2021