Need something to talk about at the dinner table, during carpool, or on your next Zoom meeting while waiting for Gary from accounting to show up ten minutes late? These funny facts are all 100 percent true and somewhere between 50 percent and 100 percent hilarious. It’s all about delivery, my dude. If you can get it right, even the most straight-forward of facts can be funny facts. Now, more than ever, you’re going to need to rely on your dad-ittude to bring light to the darkness… or humor to the conversation. Same thing.
1 “The Highest Court in the Land” (The Supreme Court) is home to the… highest court in the land, the nickname for their in-house basketball court. Think you can dunk on RBG?
2. Hawaiian Pizza was actually invented in Canada by a Greek immigrant.
3. Meanwhile, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos were actually invented by a janitor.
4. Tony The Tiger once had to make a public plea on Twitter for people to stop sending him anthropomorphic animal porn, proving once and for all that if it exists, there’s a porn about it.
5. Moondyne Joe escaped prison so many times that jailers built a special cell just for him. He escaped that, too.
6. Cookie Monster’s real name is Sid.
7. It takes 570 gallons of paint to keep The White House looking fresh.
8. The Bloodhound Gang once released a song called, “The Ten Coolest Things About New Jersey.” It’s ten seconds of silence and obviously the world’s best diss track.
9. If you tried to ice skate on Jupiter’s moon, Europa, which is covered in ice, an Axel jump would take you 22 feet in the air.
10. Cow moos have regional dialects. That means a cow from Pennsylvania may not be able to communicate properly with a cow from Wisconsin. So, gossiping is out.
11. You know Barry Manilow’s song, “I Write The Songs?” Not. Actually. Written by Manilow.
12. Dolly Parton once lost a lookalike contest — She was beat by a drag queen.
13. No, you can’t actually see the Great Wall of China from space. At least not without help from a zooming lens.
14. Ever notice your baby has an orange nose? She’s probably eating too many carrots and other beta-carotene-rich foods. Adults can have the same reaction… assuming they still like carrots enough.
15. There’s almost more Monopoly money printed each year than real money.
16. Unicorns are the official animal of Scotland.
17. Also, it’s illegal to hunt unicorns in Michigan.
18. There’s an underwear museum in Brussels. They were once robbed of a pair of underwear from the mayor.
19. Viagra will help flowers last longer, too.
20. Don’t share this one with the wife: In Spanish, the word “esposas” means both “wife” and “handcuffs.”
21. You swallow an average of four cups of snot each day.
22. Talk about in-demand jobs: You must be a licensed electrician to change a lightbulb in Victoria, Australia.
23. Meanwhile, “mortgage” has French roots and originally meant, “death contract.”
24. Jim Carrey and Tupac Shukar used to be pen pals.
25. If you spliced together all the silent moments in the first “Twilight” movie, you’d have 26 minutes of creepy, silent staring.
26. In China, the word “censorship” is, well, censored.
27. There’s actually an official answer to, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?” It’s 364.
28. New Zealand’s Air Force logo has a picture of a Kiwi on it. Kiwis are flightless birds.
29. There’s an American town that once elected a toddler for mayor.
30. Buzz Aldrin’s mother’s maiden name was Moon.
31. The inventor of the Telecaster and Stratocaster guitars, Leo Fender, couldn’t actually play guitar.
32. A town in Alaska has had a cat for a mayor for the last 15 years.
33. There’s also a town Kentucky with a dog for a mayor — it holds regular votes and cycles through other resident canines.
34. That panic you get when you accidentally leave your phone at home? It’s real and it’s called nomophobia.
35. There are more trade regulations on bananas than on AK47s.
36. Be cautious Texas Bigfoot impersonators! In Texas, it’s legal to kill Bigfoot, if you ever find him.
37. Also, in Norway “Texas” is used as slang to mean “crazy.”
38. The scientific name for the Western Lowland Gorilla is “gorilla gorilla gorilla.”
39. For about $1600, you can hire a French company to kidnap you. No judgment here.
40. The Danish word for “condom” is “svangerskabsforebyggende middel.” Annnnd we’re finished.
41. According to one survey, it would take 76 workdays to read through all the crap you agree to each year when you blindly accept privacy agreements.
42. You’re twice as likely to be killed by a vending machine than a shark.
43. Playing in a marching band is considered moderate exercise. Unless you play the tuba. Then it’s strength training.
44. The first video shown on MTV was “Video Killed The Radio Star.” (You know, back when they still played music.)
45. A Canadian man was once arrested for tying a ton of balloons to his lawn chair and flying over the city. Dang, Canada. Let a man live.
46. The award for the weirdest use of a pop song in a campaign goes to Saddam Hussein and Whitney Houston. He used her song, “I Will Always Love You” in his 2002 campaign.
47. The most overdue library book was returned roughly 288 years late.
48. Jack Daniels’ last word? “One last drink, please.”
49. Harry Pott-wait, no. Daniel Radcliffe once wore the exact same outfit for six months in an effort to annoy and discourage paparazzi.
50. The ultimate political flex? After being elected, President Banana, of Zimbabwe, made a law that no one could make fun of his name.
51. America has an official Rock, Paper, Scissors League. Because, of course we do.
52. David Copperfield once used sleight-of-hand magic to avoid being robbed of his possessions.
53. Charles Bukowski’s tombstone reads, “Don’t try.”
54. In ancient Greece, if you loved someone, you chucked an apple at them.
55. Still more legit than Trump University: More than 80,000 people have graduated from McDonald’s Hamburger University.
56. A “nurdle” isn’t a Harry Potter creature. It’s actually the name for the dollop of toothpaste on your toothbrush. The more you know?
57. There’s a species of fish called “slippery dick.”
58. Leery of that young doctor? Think, again. Surgeons who grew up playing video games apparently make 37% fewer mistakes.
59. Walmart has a lower acceptance rate than Harvard. So, shoot your shot.
60. The original name for the search engine Google was Backrub. It was renamed Google after the googolplex, which is the number one followed by 100 zeros.
61. A footprint left on the moon will be there for 100 million years.
62. The sun travels around the galaxy once every 200 million years.
63. “Psycho” was the first movie to show a flushing toilet.
64. The only member of ZZ Top without a bear? Frank Beard.
65. Ozzy Osbourne once joined a protest… against himself.
66. Canada is south of Detroit (just look at a map).
67. In Greek mythology, it was believed that red heads turned into vampires when they died.
68. A shrimp’s heart is in its head.
69. Regret getting married? You can be sued for breaking an engagement in about half the U.S. states.
70. Miss Piggy and Yoda were voiced by the same person, Frank Oz.
71. Mosquitoes are the deadliest animal in the world: They kill more people than any other creature, due to the diseases they carry.
72. Three presidents, all Founding Fathers—John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe—died on July 4.
