Here’s All The Best Stuff Coming to Netflix, HBO Max and Hulu in July

Before Netflix, Hulu and HBO Max came about, the first of the month sucked. All we did was pay rent, run errands, and tactlessly bump one particular Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony track. Now, in the golden age of glowing rectangles, it’s a day for celebration, as on-demand services serve up a fresh, heaping batch of content for our streaming pleasure.

Grab some popcorn, because here are all the best things coming to streaming platforms in July! And don’t call me Shirley.

Airplane!

(Credit: Paramount)

The spoof that started it all. Many imitators have since tried to recapture its silly, pun-laden comedic sensibilities, and most of them failed miserably (Meet the Spartans, anyone?) The genius of Airplanelies in its contrast: absurdity presented in a completely deadpan manner. Leslie Nielsen is irreplaceable for this reason. Classic!

Available to stream on Netflix July 1st

Pop Star: Never Stop Never Stopping

(Credit: Universal Pictures)

Pop Star is quite possibly the funniest movie of the last five years. This mockumentary follows Connor4Real, a Bieber-like pop sensation played by Andy Samberg. There’s a gut-busting laugh to be had for practically every scene. Lonely Island toes that thin line between stupidity and brilliance better than anyone.

Available to stream on HBO Max July 1st

The Karate Kid

(Credit: Columbia Pictures)

A quintessential ’80s flick worth revisiting with the family. Pat Morita earned icon status and an Academy Award nomination with his portrayal of Mr. Miyagi, the warm and profoundly wise mentor to Ralph Macchio’s Daniel-san. Life is all about balance, and this movie does a damn fine job in explaining that.

Available to stream on Netflix July 1st

Spaceballs

(Credit: MGM)

Chances are, you’ve introduced your kids to Star Wars. Now’s the perfect time to introduce them to the comic genius of Mel Brooks, the subdued brilliance of Rick Moranis, and the very real limitations of parody law.

Available to stream on Netflix July 1st

Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2

(Credit: Miramax)

Brutal, visceral, and hella entertaining. Uma Thurman stars as The Bride, hands down the most defiantly badass heroine since Ripley from Alien. Watch in slack-jawed bewilderment as she and Quentin Tarantino pull off some of the most batshit insane fight sequences ever committed to celluloid. Big ups to RZA from Wu-Tang for the masterful score.

Available to stream on HBO Max July 1st

Best in Show

(Credit: Warner Bros)

A laugh-out-loud funny mockumentary from Christopher Guest following a group of eccentric dog owners competing in the Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show. There’s lots to love about this movie (Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara are pitch-perfect as the Flecks), but the real magic here is Fred Willard’s turn as clueless color commentator Buck Laughlin.

Available to stream on Hulu July 1st

Angus

(Credit: New Line Cinema)

You probably saw this movie 15 years ago on TNT and completely forgot about it. Angus is about an overweight teenager named Angus who’s best friends with The Sherminator. It’s a very funny, sweet-tempered movie, bound to resonate with any youngster struggling with body image issues.

Available to stream on HBO Max July 1st

Beerfest

(Credit: Warner Bros)

The Broken Lizard gang is back in this raucous, endlessly-quotable followup to Super Troopers. This is a movie that feels like it was written in the 90s, filmed in the 80s, and released in the 70s. One of the most underrated comedies this side of the millennium. DAAAAAS BOOOOT!

Available to stream on HBO Max July 1st

Bug

(Credit: Lionsgate)

If you like Michael Shannon or Ashley Judd whatsoever, Bug is right up your alley. Shannon plays a drifter who convinces Judd the government has infested her motel room with microscopic bugs. It’s creepy, suffocating, and sometimes actually kinda funny. A must-watch for any fan of psychological horror.

Available to stream on Hulu July 1st

None of those tickling your fancy? Here’s a complete list of everything else coming to Netflix, HBO Max, and Hulu!

NETFLIX

July 1
#AnneFrank: Parallel Stories
Abby Hatcher: Season 1
A Bridge Too Far
Airplane!
Ali
The Art of War
A Thousand Words
A Touch of Green: Season 1
A Walk to Remember
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
Charlotte’s Web
Chico Bon Bon: Monkey with a Tool Belt: Season 2 (Netflix Family)
Clash of the Titans (1981)
Cleo & Cuquin: Season 2
Cloud Atlas
David Foster: Off the Record
Deadwind: Season 2 (Netflix Original)
Definitely, Maybe
Delta Farce
The Devil’s Advocate
Donnie Brasco
Double Jeopardy
The F**k-It List
Fiddler on the Roof
The Firm
Frida
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
The Karate Kid
The Karate Kid Part II
The Karate Kid Part III
Killing Hasselhoff
Kingdom: Season 1-3
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
Mean Streets
Million Dollar Baby
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
Paranormal Activity
Red Riding Hood (2011)
Say I Do (Netflix Original)
Schindler’s List
Sleepless in Seattle
Sleepy Hollow
Spaceballs
Splice
Stand and Deliver
Stardust
Starsky & Hutch
Sucker Punch
Swordfish
This Christmas
Total Recall (1990)
The Town
Trotro
Under the Riccione Sun (Netflix Film)
Unsolved Mysteries (Netflix Documentary)
Winchester
The Witches

July 2
Warrior Nun (Netflix Original)
Thiago Ventura: Pokas (Netflix Comedy Special)

July 3
The Baby-Sitters Club: Season 1 (Netflix Original)
Cable Girls: Final Season Part 2 (Netflix Original)
Desperados (Netflix Film)
JU-ON: Origins (Netflix Original)
Southern Survival (Netflix Original)

July 5
ONLY

July 6
A Kid From Coney Island

July 7
Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax

July 8
The Long Dumb Road
Mucho Mucho Amor: The Legend of Walter Mercado (Netflix Documentary)
Stateless: Season 1 (Netflix Original)
What Is Love? (Netflix Original)
Yu-Gi-Oh!: Season 1

July 9
Japan Sinks: 2020 (Netflix Anime)
The Protector: Season 4 (Netflix Original)

July 10
The Claudia Kishi Club (Netflix Documentary)
Down to Earth with Zac Efron (Netflix Original)
The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants in Space (Netflix Family)
Dating Around: Brazil (Netflix Original)
The Old Guard (Netflix Family)
The Twelve (Netflix Original)

July 14
The Business of Drugs (Netflix Documentary)
On est ensemble (We Are One) (Netflix Documentary)
Urzila Carlson: Overqualified Loser (Netflix Comedy Special)

July 15
Dark Desire (Netflix Original)
Gli Infedeli (The Players) (Netflix Family)
Skin Decisions: Before and After (Netflix Original)
Sunny Bunnies: Season 1-2

July 16
Fatal Affair (Netflix Family)
Indian Matchmaking (Netflix Original)
MILF (Netflix Family)
Pride and Prejudice (2005)

July 17
Boca a Boca (Kissing Game) (Netflix Original)
Cursed (Netflix Original)
Funan

July 18
Gigantosaurus: Season 1
The Notebook

July 19
The Last Dance

July 20
Ashley Garcia: Genius in Love (Netflix Family)
How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast): Season 2 (Netflix Original)
Ip Man 4: The Finale
Jack Whitehall: I’m Only Joking *Netflix Comedy Special
Street Food: Latin America (Netflix Documentary)

July 22
61
Fear City: New York vs The Mafia (Netflix Documentary)
Love on the Spectrum (Netflix Documentary)
Norsemen: Season 3 (Netflix Original)
The Remix: Hip Hop X Fashion
Signs (Netflix Original)
Spotlight

July 23
The Larva Island Movie (Netflix Family)

July 24
A Cantar (Sing On! Spain) (Netflix Original)
Animal Crackers (Netflix Film)
Dragons: Rescue Riders: Secrets of the Songwing (Netflix Family)
In the Dark: Season 2
The Kissing Booth 2 (Netflix Film)
Ofrenda a la tormenta (Netflix Film)

July 26
Banana Split
Shameless: Season 10

July 28
Jeopardy!: Collection 6
Last Chance U: Lany (Netflix Documentary)

July 29
The Hater (Netflix Film)
Inside the World’s Toughest Prisons: Season 4 (Netflix Original)

July 30
Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie
Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy (Netflix Anime)

July 31
Get Even (Netflix Original)
Latte and the Magic Waterstone (Netflix Family)
Seriously Single (Netflix Film)
The Speed Cubers (Netflix Documentary)
Sugar Rush: Extra Sweet (Netflix Original)
The Umbrella Academy: Season 2 (Netflix Original)
Vis a Vis: El Oasis (Locked Up) (Netflix Original)

HBO MAX

July 1st
Absolute Power
A Guy Named Joe
American Graffiti
American History X
Angels in the Outfield
Angus
August Rush
Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero
Batman and Harley Quinn
Batman vs. Two-Face
Batman: Assault on Arkham
Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders
Batman: Under the Red Hood
Batman: Year One
Beautiful Creatures
Beerfest
Blade
Blade 2
Blade: Trinity
Blazing Saddles
Blood Work
Born to Be Wild
Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason
Catch Me If You Can
Clara’s Heart
Cop Out
Creepshow
Death Becomes Her
Dirty Harry
Doc Hollywood
Dolphin Tale
Dumb & Dumber
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
Enemy of the State
Fantastic Four
Flags of Our Fathers
Flushed Away
Four Christmases
Fred Claus
Free Willy
Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home
Free Willy 3: The Rescue
Free Willy: Escape from Pirate’s Cove
Freedom Fighters: The Ray
Get Smart
Good Girls Get High
Green Lantern: Emerald Knights
Green Lantern: First Flight
Grumpier Old Men
Grumpy Old Men
Halwa, 2019 APAV Short
Heartbreak Ridge
Horrible Bosses (Extended Version)
In Secret
In Time
Inkheart
Innerspace
Insomnia
J. Edgar
Jack Frost
Jane Eyre
Jeepers Creepers
Jeepers Creepers 2
JLA Adventures: Trapped in Time
John Q
Journey to the Center of the Earth
Justice League vs. Teen Titans
Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths
Justice League: Doom
Justice League: Gods and Monsters
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
Justice League: The New Frontier
Justice League: Throne of Atlantis
Justice League: War
Kill Bill: Volume 1
Kill Bill: Volume 2
Kiss of the Dragon
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Last Knights
Last Samurai
Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League vs. Bizarro League
Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: The Flash
Lego DC Super Hero Girls: Super-Villain High
Lego Justice League: Cosmic Clash
Lego Justice League: Gotham City Breakout
Life Is Beautiful
Little Big League
Little Manhattan
Little Nicky
Loser Leaves Town
Love Don’t Cost a Thing
Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
Magnolia
Malibu’s Most Wanted
Mars Attacks
Megamind
Message In A Bottle
Michael
Mickey Blue Eyes
Money Talks
Monkey Trouble
Moonwalk With Me, 2019 APAV Short
Mr. Nanny
Munich
Music and Lyrics
Nancy Drew
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
National Lampoon’s European Vacation
National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Necessary Evil: The Super-Villains of DC Comics
New Looney Tunes
Now and Then
Orphan
Osmosis Jones
Pee-wee’s Big Adventure
Pop Star
Power
Rich and Famous
Rumor Has It
Saving Private Ryan
Sesame Street Presents Follow That Bird
Showgirls
Something to Talk About
Space Jam
Spies Like Us
Star Trek
Stay
Sudden Impact
Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay
Superman II
Superman III
Superman IV
Superman Returns
Superman: Brainiac Attacks
Superman: The Movie
Superman: Unbound
Sweet November
Take the Lead
Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny
Tequila Sunrise
The Adventures of Pinocchio
The Amazing Panda Adventure
The Bachelor
The Batman vs. Dracula
The Big Year (Extended Version)
The Bishop’s Wife
The Boy Who Could Fly
The Conjuring
The Departed
The Dirty Dozen
The Enforcer
The English Patient
The Exorcist
The Gauntlet
The Green Pastures
The Horn Blows at Midnight
The Last Emperor
The Letter
The Longest Yard
The Polar Express
The Resurrection Of Gavin Stone
The Right Stuff
The Talented Mr. Ripley
The Towering Inferno
The Women
Thirteen Ghosts
Tightrope
Tom & Jerry: The Movie
Troy
True Crime
Twelve Monkeys
Unforgiven
Vegas Vacation
Watchmen
What’s Your Number? (Extended Version)
Wyatt Earp
Yogi Bear
Yours, Mine, and Ours
Zoetic, 2019 APAV Short

July 3
Midway

July 11
Last Christmas

July 14
Showbiz Kids

July 15
Smurfs: Season 1

July 18
Harriet

July 25
Motherless Brooklyn

July 28
Stockton On My Mind

July 31
Los Lobos

HULU

July 1
1000-lb Sisters: Season 1
90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days: Season 3
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way: Season 1
BBQ Rig Race: Season 1
Beyond the Headlines: The College Admissions Scandal with Gretchen Carlson
Biography: Chris Farley – Anything for a Laugh
Bobby Flay’s Barbecue Addiction
Buddy vs. Duff: Season 1
Burgers, Brew & ‘Que: Seasons 1-3, 5
Deadly Women: Season 13
Eat, Sleep, BBQ: Season 1
Family By the Ton: Season 2
Ghost Hunters: Season 1
Homicide Hunter: Season 9
House Hunters: Season 154 – 159
Intervention: Season 20
Jamie and Doug Plus One: Season 1
Kids BBQ Championship: Season 1-2
Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath: Season 3
Man vs. Master: Chef Battle: Season 1
Married at First Sight: Seasons 1-3
Psychic Kids: Season 1
Say Yes to the Nest: Season 1
Seven Year Switch: Seasons 1-2
Sex Sent Me to the ER: Season 3
Shark Week 2018 & 2019
The American Farm: Season 1
The Day I Picked My Parents: Season 1
The Grill Dads: Season 1
The Strongest Man In History: Season 1
The Toe Bro: Season 1
The UnXplained with William Shatner: Season 1
Twisted Sisters: Season 2
UFOs: Secret Alien Technology
UFOs: Secret Missions Exposed
Ultimate Summer Cook-Off: Season 1
Unexpected: Season 3
Unpolished: Season 1
Welcome to Plathville: Season 1
12 and Holding
2001 Maniacs
52 Pick-Up
A Bridge Too Far
A History of My Sexual Failures
A Kid Like Jake
A Mighty Wind
A Storks Journey
An Eye for a Eye
The Axe Murders of Villisca
The Bellbo
Beloved
Best In Show
Between Us
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Birdwatchers
Boogie Woogie
The Bounty
Brokedown Palace
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer
Bug
Buried
Cadaver
California Dreamin’
Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter
Catcher Was A Spy
The Catechism Cataclysm
Change of Plans
Cheech & Chong’s Still Smokin’
Cinderfella
Citizen Soldier
The Client
Cold War
The Color Purple
Cortex
The Cured
Danger Close
Dark Touch
Day Night Day Night
The Devil’s Candy
The Devil’s Rejects
Dheepan
Die Hard 4 (Live Free or Die Hard)
Downhill Racer
The Edukators
Eloise’s Lover
Exorcismus
The Eye
The Eye 2
Father of My Children
Filth & Wisdom
Flashback
The Flat
Footloose
For Your Consideration
The Forbidden Kingdom
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
The Forgiveness of Blood
Freddy Vs Jason
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
Furlough
Girls! Girls! Girls!
Grizzly Man
Hateship, Loveship
Hornet’s Nest
Hot Rod
House of 1000 Corpses
The House That Jack Built
The Inevitable Defeat of Mister & Pete
Iron Eagle IV: On the Attack
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
The Last Mistress
Len and Company
Liar, Liar
Love Songs
The Man from London
The Man Who Could Cheat Death
March of the Penguins
Mary Shelley
Match
Moonstruck
My Cousin Vinny
The Necessities of Life
Nick Nolte: No Exit
Nights and Weekends
The Ninth Gate
Norma Rae
The Patsy
Phase IV
Polisse
Poseidon
Post Grad
PSYCHO GRANNY
Rabbit Hole
Rebel in the Rye
Right at Your Door
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Room of Death
Search for General Tso Chicken
The Shock Doctrine
The Shrine
Sliver
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Spider-Man 3
Spiderhole
Spring Forward
Starting Out in the Evening
Sugar Hill
Sunset Strip
Tales From the Golden Age
Tank 432
The Tenant
Tetsuo III: The Bullet Man
Things to Come
This Christmas
Three Blind Mice
Three Musketeers
Trapped Model
The Trip
The Trip to Italy
The Trip to Spain
Trishna
Trivial
The Truth About Cats & Dogs
Waiting for Guffman
Waiting Room
We Are What We Are
We Have Pope
The Weather Man
The Wedding Planner
West Side Story
When A Man Comes Home

July 2
The Whistlers

July 3
I Am Not Your Negro
To The Stars

July 5
Outcry: Season 1

July 8
BOFURI: I Don’t Want to Get Hurt, so I’ll Max Out My Defense: Season 1, Episodes 1-8

July 9
Toilet-bound Hanako-kun: Season 1, Episodes 1-8

July 10
Palm Springs (Hulu Original)
Cake: Season 3 Premiere
CMA: Best of Fest
Smile Down the Runway: Season 1, Episodes 1-8

July 11
China: The Panda Adventure
Horses
The Secret of Life on Earth

July 13
My Scientology Movie
The Rest Of Us

July 15
Diary of a Prosecutor: Season 1
Plunderer: Season 1, Episodes 1-12
Promised Neverland: Season 1
Search: WWW: Season 1
The Weekend

July 17
Into the Dark: The Current Occupant: New Episode (Hulu Original)

July 19
Marianne & Leonard: Words of Love

July 20
The Assistant

July 21
Sorcerous Stabber Orphen: Season 1, Episodes 1-9
The Last Full Measure

July 22
Bolt

July 26
2099: The Soldier Protocol

July 27
Jamie: Keep Cooking and Carry On: Season 1
Good Deeds

July 28
Maxxx: Season 1

July 29
Infinite Dendrogram: Season 1, Episodes 1-8
Ladhood: Season 1

July 30
In My Skin: Season 1
Bull
The Flood

July 31
Brassic: Season 1
A Certain Scientific Railgun T: Season 3, Episodes 1-11

What Is Roblox’s Spotify Island, and How Will Kids Try To Spend Money There?

Gaming and music go hand-in-hand, and Spotify hosts over two million gaming-related playlists. This makes their jump into the so-called metaverse a no-brainer, since it’s apparently real, and we will, in fact, have to deal with it.  But when Spotify invited The Dad to take a first-hand look at their partnership with Roblox, I was excited to ask the hard-hitting questions dads need to know. Questions like “What is Roblox?” and “No, really, is it like…like what is it?”

Okay, most of us have at least heard of Roblox and perhaps even used it as a motivating tool for chores or good grades or being left alone for an hour. Despite the surging popularity of feel-good, low lift video games like Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley,  however, I’ve never actually played the game.  But Spotify recognizes the fantastic potential of video games to connect people and has created a space within the game world for users to connect through a love of music. I was given a chance to explore “Spotify Island,” a unique little sanctuary within Roblox, and play around with the features. While it’s not exactly Elden Ring in terms of gameplay nuance, it’s an early look at the merging of all our digital spheres, and certainly a first step toward how entertainment will start to feel in the coming years.

Sidenote: I have to say, the Spotify office is pretty rad. When I arrived, there was a full coffee bar in the lobby, complete with a barista who was very unimpressed by my order of regular black coffee. Look, Spotify, you know me, you know how many times a week I listen to Bruce Springsteen’s Darkness on the Edge of Town; what kind of coffee did you expect me to order?

Anyway, the Roblox thing. The game allows players to engage with user-generated content, mainly in the form of mini-games players can create and share. The basic gameplay of Spotify Island is to parkour your way around a digital island paradise, collecting heart-shaped tokens, finding hidden easter eggs, and interacting with other players at beat-making stations. The tokens you collect can be exchanged for in-game content, such as emotes and cosmetic changes to your avatar. That’s all pretty familiar territory to online gamers, but the hook is how Spotify will use this space to host unique moments between artists and fans.

In-game, Spotify will host mini-quests, virtual meet-and-greets, and other interactive experiences with artists, including, obviously, selling MERCH! Yes, what kid hasn’t begged for some extra virtual dollars to spend on a virtual t-shirt for their virtual person. As someone who spent money on multiple skins for the various Avengers in a game I don’t even like, I have no commentary on this.  But while it’s Dad Law to roll your eyes and act like your wallet is welded shut in these scenarios, Spotify made clear that in-game merch proceeds go directly to the artist. The artists are also as involved with the creative process as they’d like to be. Collectables and achievements are nothing new in video games – or, as we’ve seen with NFTs in the last year, real life for that matter. Considering the game’s been around since 2006, many artists will have grown up on Roblox themselves. I’m sure some young popstars will be thrilled to design in-game swag to share with fans. And I’m doubly sure preteens will lose their mind for it.

Spotfiy Island is a video game, but it’s more like a virtual lounge. I’m told there will be multiple islands added to the game world, with different themes and genres for each.This allows players to find their own little place in the metaverse based on their taste and creativity. Notably, the island features a large stage central to the action. While it’s not mentioned as part of an official release, it’s easy to see virtual events down the line, like how Fortnite has been used as a digital venue for concerts, movie trailers, and other #trending #things.

They announced they were starting partnerships with  K-Pop icons Sunmi and Stray Kids, and I politely pretended to know who they were. I’m sure the kids will be excited.

Washington DC, History, and Sightseeing with Kids

Dads love history, monuments, and museums. In one of nature’s cruelest twists, kids are, historically, not huge fans.

When I was a kid, my dad LOOOVED taking us to the Wright Patterson Air Force Museum. He was unphased by our groans and complaints, in fact he may have been fueled by them, as dads often are. It’s not that he didn’t care that we didn’t like it. Now that I’m a dad I realize he took ambivalence as a challenge, that he would be able to convince us of how fascinating it all really was. 

– – – – – – 

My family just got back from a trip to Washington DC for the White House Easter Egg Roll. The last time I was in DC was 30 years ago. I was 10. Coincidentally my son is now 10 (and my daughter is 12). So while we were sightseeing, I constantly compared it with what it must have been like when my dad took me there in 1993. 

– – – – – – 

Our flight left Cincinnati at 6:30am. We left our house at 3am, because dads love arriving super early for flights. Dads love to beat the rush and dads love early flights because the airport is less crowded. Etc etc etc. Some cliches are true. 

One of the first things we did was walk by the White House. DC was eerily empty Saturday morning but walking along the north side of the White House a Secret Service SUV suddenly stopped and rolled down its window. “HEY!” Uh oh… “THE DAD!” Uh ohhhhhh.

Let me pause and say that my kids do not think I’m cool. Partly because nobody’s kids think their parents are cool but mostly because I am 100% absolutely positively NOT COOL. Their assessment is spot on. But this was as if I scripted a scene that attempted to convince them I am cool.

An impressive Secret Service Officer got out of the car and shook my hand. He said “We see celebrities a lot but I don’t normally stop. But THE DAD? I love your guys’ stuff.” (As contractually required I assured him our content is made by a team of talented creators and I’m basically a boring business guy at this point.)

He got his police dog out of the car and let the kids pet him, even though he’s a highly trained combat doggo. 

RITSHI FOR PREZ
RITSHI FOR PREZ

My son told him his goal was to play Joe Biden in basketball. The guy said, “Wellll I don’t know how athletic he is.” (Leaned closer and lowered voice.) “Well, actually I do but I’m not allowed to say.” 

As he went back to patrolling, I gave my kids a knowing glance that asked, “Now do you think I’m cool?”

They responded with a glance back that unequivocally said, “Still nope. But the dog was cool.” Nonetheless, I am so grateful to that guy for stopping and raising my cool score from -1 to, perhaps, 0. 

Did anything similar happen on my previous trip to DC in 1993? No because my dad’s meme game was trash due to memes not existing yet.

– – – – – – 

The rest of the day was quintessential DC tourist stuff. So go ahead and play some montage background music in your head while you glance at pics. (Star Spangled Banner is a timeless choice but I’ll also accept My Country ‘Tis of Thee.)

♫ SWEET LAND OF LIBERTY ♫
♫ SWEET LAND OF LIBERTY ♫

Cliche right? We even did the “Pretend to lean on the Washington Monument” pic.

NAILED IT! HAHAHA, DAD JOKES.
NAILED IT! HAHAHA, DAD JOKES.

– – – – – – 

Did I appreciate DC more as a dad than as a 10-year-old kid? In ways words can’t describe. I stood in front of the Lincoln Memorial realizing this is the spot where Martin Luther King Jr gave the I Have a Dream Speech. I imagined throngs of people gathered. So much happened RIGHT HERE. 

We went to Ford’s Theater, where Abraham Lincoln was shot. I imagined the what ifs. What if John Wilkes Booth DIDN’T do that? What if the gun jammed? 

Life is tenuous. All of the moments that happened, both good and bad, celebratory and tragic, have led to the present and made our reality what it is. Historic spots, monuments, museums… they are documentation of the most important moments that got us here. They’re the inspiration for living a better life and making our children’s realities more rich and full. 

I looked at my kids. Did they realize the enormity? Did they appreciate the history? My daughter said something so profound. (This is an exact quote. I wrote it down in my phone so I could get it just right.) She said, “You should be grateful to have kids like us. We’ve been up since 3am doing your crap.”

I think she gets it.

UP SINCE 3AM DOING “MY CRAP”
UP SINCE 3AM DOING “MY CRAP”

– – – – – – 

In 2.5 days we walked over 60,000 steps. When we’d stop I’d say “I need to rest the ole gams.” (Gams being a funny word for legs.) This became our running joke. Because what is a family trip if not a series of inside jokes you can look back on later in life. So the theme of this trip was not historical reflection as intended, but rather “resting the gams.” When we walked through White House security for the Easter Egg Roll on our last day in DC, my son asked the Secret Service Officer, “Is this the gam resting station?” 

RESTING THEIR GAMS ON THE STEPS OF THE US CAPITOL
RESTING THEIR GAMS ON THE STEPS OF THE US CAPITOL

In 1993, we toured the inside of the White House. We couldn’t do that on this trip. Best I could offer was the South Lawn. What an amazing experience to walk the grounds. We saw the President, First Lady, the Easter Bunny, and Jimmy Fallon. 

REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIS POLITICS, PRETTY COOL TO BE THIS CLOSE TO THE EASTER BUNNY
REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIS POLITICS, PRETTY COOL TO BE THIS CLOSE TO THE EASTER BUNNY

My son shouted for the dancing duck to “hit the griddy!” What would the 1993 equivalent of this be? “Do the Macarena!”? Kids, hitting the griddy is just a modern version of the Macarena. Ruined the griddy. You’re welcome.

@thedad

An attempt was made @thejoelwillis #hitthegriddy

♬ original sound – The Dad

 

A guy in the VIP section saw a friend near us and came over to shake his hand. My son said, “Hey dude can I get one of those too?” (a handshake). The guy shook my son’s hand and said, “Nice to meet you. I’m Hunter.”

MY SON’S NEW BUDDY HUNTER
MY SON’S NEW BUDDY HUNTER

True parenting media brand aficionados will appreciate this: I got to hang with Micaela Birmingham and Alison Bucalo from Scary Mommy! 

THE DAD AND SCARY MOMMY
A COUPLE SCARY MOMMIES AND ONE OF THE DADS

My kids’ favorite part? A pop up concert from Sofia Carson. In true dad fashion, I didn’t know who she was (despite her 16.3M IG followers) until my daughter told me she was Evie in The Descendents. Ah yes! Chillin Like a Villain! Historic. 

@thedad

We were at the White House yesterday for the Easter Egg Roll. @Joel Willis’s son got a selfie with @SofiaCarson and his reaction (and the pic) are killing me 🤣

♬ original sound – The Dad

 

– – – – – – 

I’ve exaggerated for comedic effect. My kids appreciated the history more than most would. Certainly more than I did in 1993.

As parents, we need to remind ourselves: the point of historic sightseeing with your kids is not to induce some epiphany about their unique place in history and the world; the point is to create memories with your kids that they’ll look back on and appreciate when they’re older.

– – – – – – 

After I became a dad, when my kids were little, we invited my dad to go with us to the Wright Patterson Air Force Museum. I hadn’t been since I was a kid. Ya know what? Through adult eyes it really was fascinating. My dad won the challenge after all. 

My kids humored us and were as interested as kids can get. But they got to spend time with their grandpa. That’s what it was about all along. 

He passed away a few weeks later and that was one of the last times we saw him. I’ll be forever grateful that we took that last trip to the museum.

History isn’t only boring museums, statues, and lengthy esoteric plaques. History is personal: our family, memories, shared experiences, and inside jokes. Some fascinating, some boring. Some heroic, some tragic. That’s the stuff life is made of.

WRIGHT PATTERSON AIR FORCE MUSEUM, MARCH 12, 2016
WRIGHT PATTERSON AIR FORCE MUSEUM, MARCH 12, 2016

4 Things That Will Help You Remain Calm When Your Kids Use The Internet

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The idea of unleashing your child into the digital world gives parents the same trepidation traditionally reserved for teaching a hormone-crazed teenager how to merge into rush hour traffic. Sure, the World Wide Web can be a scary place, but in a lot of ways, the experience is better than when we were kids. What we’ve lost in dial-up noises, we’ve gained in parental controls and strategies to make the online world a healthier environment for our kids.

You Control the World They Play In

There aren’t many phrases scarier for a parent than “in-app purchases available.” Thankfully, you can add layers of purchasing restrictions to make sure your kid doesn’t convert your life savings into video game currency.

Once you have your pocketbook protected, most apps and services also have filters you can apply to serve up only age-appropriate content. Video platforms get better every day at creating a digital world with training wheels for pre-teens. Most games restrict chat functions for younger kids so you don’t have to worry about strangers trying to make small talk with your second grader who simply wants to feed a pretend horse in an open-world environment.

Most importantly, keeping kids aware of your screen time rules — and enforcing them — will go a long way to keeping their digital habit a healthy one.

Today’s Parental Supervision Tools Are Next Level

Just as you want to know who your kid’s in-person friends are, you can monitor their early digital interactions to make sure they’re using the internet for good. Apps like Messenger Kids create a safer environment where kids can interact and play with their buddies while parents keep an eye on their whole experience.

Messaging apps are not only a great way for kids to stay connected with buddies outside of a classroom or play date, but they’re a solid introduction for kids to the digital world. They foster creativity by giving kids freedom in how they play and connect, while also aiding social and emotional development by helping kids stay in touch with friends and family members.

With Messenger Kids, you have your own separate Parent Dashboard that allows you to manage your kid’s contact list, set “off times” to enforce screen time limits, and check in on your child’s conversations, which is especially helpful with younger kids.

You’re Already Teaching Them What They Need To Know

Isolation and bullying are among the biggest dangers for teenagers growing up digitally. Actually, they’re some of the biggest problems of being a kid, period. But just as the digital world can intensify some of those issues, smart digital tools can also be part of the solution.

Many apps and platforms are joining the mission to educate and encourage positive behaviors in the digital realm. The Messenger Kids Pledge echoes the attitudes we want our kids to exhibit in real life: Be Kind, Be Respectful, Be Safe, and Have Fun. To help kids learn these behaviors and put them into practice, Messenger Kids’ new interactive Pledge Planets activity puts kids in charge of helping characters navigate social situations by using their digital citizenship skills. Messenger Kids’ interactive games also have report functions to help dramatically limit in-game bullying, while parental supervision tools let you monitor your kid’s online play.

Fortunately, there has never been more education and awareness in schools to combat issues like bullying. Those are the same values and lessons you’re instilling in your kids at home, both in-person and online.

Spending Time Online With Your Kid Can Be an Incredible Bonding Experience

Having an online kid doesn’t have to be scary — it can actually enhance your relationship. It’s something fun to do together. You don’t have to wait to throw a ball around the yard, you can destroy your fourth-grader in your favorite racing game. Meeting your kid on their level and gaming together, whether it’s a world-building game or a team-up-to-defend-the-world-from-zombies game, are memories they’ll carry forever. And it gives you a chance to model the behavior you expect from them online.

Also, an ongoing messaging relationship with your kid can bring you closer. Nothing cheers up the final quarter of your workday like your kid sending a GIF on Messenger Kids after they get home from school. Ask a child how school was, and they listlessly respond, “Fine.” Ask via text, and they might give you a whole breakdown of what’s going on — though it might be communicated with memes and emojis. Still, it adds a whole new dimension to your relationship. And you can’t ask for much more than that.

Messenger Kids is the video, voice, and messaging app designed for kids to connect with family and friends. Learn more by exploring messengerkids.com.

POSTED Homeless Man Heroically Pulls Police Officer From Burning Cruiser

Johnny Walker was working near a store where a police cruiser was involved in an accident while chasing a suspect. He heard the crash, saw squad car had gone up in flames, and leapt to action.

“I’m homeless, I was doing some work for someone. I was taking some tools back when I heard ‘boom, boom, boom, boom,’” he said to a local TV station. “I ran out here to see what it is and I saw a lot of cars, but I paid attention to the fire. My instincts were to go to that car and help him out, because he was crushed in on both sides.”

The deputy was chasing a suspect of an armed robbery when he collided with another car in an intersection. Several vehicles were involved, and one woman was tragically killed.  How you respond in a situation like that says a lot about a person. He didn’t see the armed robbery, he didn’t see the cop crash into cars in the intersection. He just  saw a car on fire, and threw himself into harm’s way to help.

And Walker got a big reward for his efforts. Not in an official capacity, but his family, who thought the homeless man had passed away, saw him being interviewed on TV. They’ve since reconnected with him, and raised more than $10,000 to help him find a home and counseling. The selfless heroic act hopefully has him back on a path to more stability.

The Rock Refuses Vin Diesel’s Fast and Furious Invitation

Sometimes, even family, fall out. Even the Fast and the Furious family.

That’s what happened with Vin Diesel and The Rock, who very publicly dislike each other and stopped teaming up on Fast movies. The Rock showed up for Fast 5, 6, 7, and 8, then had enough, did his Diesel-free Hobbs and Shaw spinoff movie, and said sayonara. But Diesel, perhaps after Fast 8 and Fast 9 weren’t quite as furious as he’d hoped, finally saw the light and asked The Rock to return for Fast 10 to wrap up the series. To which The Rock said: Nah.

A few months ago, Diesel posted to Instagram:

“The world awaits the finale of ‘Fast 10,’” Diesel wrote. “As you know, my children refer to you as Uncle Dwayne in my house. There is not a holiday that goes by that they and you don’t send well wishes… but the time has come. Legacy awaits. I told you years ago that I was going to fulfill my promise to Pablo. I swore that we would reach and manifest the best Fast in the finale that is 10!”

Diesel took to Instagram to essentially beg The Rock to return. The Rock has finally responded. Not in the way Vin Diesel wanted.

In an interview with CNN, the DC’s Black Adam laid it all out:

“I told [Diesel] directly that I would not be returning to the franchise. I was firm yet cordial with my words and said that I would always be supportive of the cast and always root for the franchise to be successful, but that there was no chance I would return.”

He directly addressed Diesel’s social media post asking him back: “Vin’s recent public post was an example of his manipulation. I didn’t like that he brought up his children in the post, as well as Paul Walker’s death. Leave them out of it. We had spoken months ago about this and came to a clear understanding.”

There are no hard feelings, of course.

“My goal all along was to end my amazing journey with this incredible franchise with gratitude and grace. It’s unfortunate that this public dialogue has muddied the waters. Regardless, I’m confident in the ‘Fast’ universe and its ability to consistently deliver for the audience… I truly wish my former co-stars and crew members the best of luck and success in the next chapter.”

And that’s that.

Belfast Star Wishes Dad Was Around To See His New Movie

Not every star makes it big early. Some spend long careers grinding, never quite getting that big break, or fully realizing their potential, until later in their lives. It’s not easy waiting for recognition, or for finally delivering the project they’ve always wanted to make, especially when the people who would be most proud of your accomplishments aren’t around to see them.

For actor Jaime Dornan, that person is his father.

Dornan was a model who hit it big when he was cast in the film adaptation of the hugely popular book series, Shades of Grey. He’d become a star, and was very successful, but it’s his latest project that is getting the most attention. He stars in Belfast, an autobiographical tale from writer/director Kenneth Branagh, about a young boy growing up in Northern Ireland. The movie is an Oscar favorite, and Dornan is proud to be a part of it. He just wishes his father were still around to see it.

Dornan’s father, Jim, was a renowned obstetrician and gynecologist and was considered a pioneer in the field of women’s reproductive rights. He passed away from Covid-19 last March while Dornan was on quarantine while filming in Australia.

“For my dad not to see Belfast really hurts,” he told the Sunday Times. “I take comfort from the fact that he knows I did it. Some people go their whole lives without being told they’ve made their parents proud. My dad told me every day.”

Dornan says his father was the one who encouraged him to explore his creative side – rather than end up a working stiff.

“I didn’t want to become an estate agent in Belfast and play a bit of club rugby at weekends — with the greatest respect to estate agents in Belfast,” he added. “I just felt I had a wee bit more to offer than that… even though it is lunacy to try to be an actor. Only 4 per cent of actors are employed — who in their right mind would pursue that?”

His dad encouraged him, and Dornan has made his way quite well, and his dad knew it.

Peter Dinklage Says Fans Need to ‘Move On’ From Game of Thrones Ending

Game of Thrones was an incredible show. Groundbreaking for HBO and it absolutely deserved all the good accolades that came its way. But that last season…Season 8 of the show will always be the asterisk that drags the show down from being one of the best ever. But, star Peter Dinklage has a message for fans; “Move on.”

Dinklage, who was truly fantastic as Tyrion Lannister, gave a wide-ranging interview to the New York Times recently about new projects he’s working on. Late in the interview, he was asked about the ending.

He said he thought people were upset with it because “they wanted the pretty white people to ride off into the sunset together.”

“By the way, it’s fiction. There’s dragons in it. Move on,” he laughed. “No, but the show subverts what you think, and that’s what I love about it.”

Dinklage thought it was the perfect time to end the show, and thought the ending was brilliant in how it wasn’t about who ruled after all.

“Everybody had their own stories going on while watching that show, but nobody’s was as good as what the show delivered, I think,” he said.

He does make a strong case for how the show frequently went out of its way to set up a fantasy trope and then cut it down. It’s what kept the show interesting and kept viewers on their feet. HOWEVER, The fans have some legit gripes with how sped up the creators made that last season. Author George R.R. Martin thought the show should’ve been two seasons longer (of course he did, he can’t finish anything) and he’s probably right. At least another season would’ve allowed them to set up the finish better.

Still, the destination was the destination, no matter how bungled the pacing was. And people…were not going to like that destination. It’s unseen if that’s how Martin plans to end things (although he clued the creators into other major moments that aren’t in the books yet, so I can’t imagine he veers off course with the ending), but Dinklage is right in that everyone had a different story. And no matter what, many of them were going to be mad with how it ended  (and just the fact that it actually was over).

But if the ending actually was as good as he thinks it was, the show would still be spoken about reverently in culture. Instead, most people have moved on. And that’s the biggest sign that things didn’t work as well as possible.

Laura: So Lucky

“We have 2 under 2, about 14 months apart. Covid has become increasingly difficult with being in lock down and stay home orders (we’re in Ontario).

My husband has worked around the clock to be able to provide for us, as we’ve felt the financial ramifications just like so many. He works two jobs to cover our expenses and comes home always so present and involved with the kids. Always there to give me a break when I’m on my mental tipping point.

He’s always the first to say, “go for a drive, or go have a nap”… he does so much for us and never asks for anything in return. We’re so lucky.”

– Laura Fleming

Teen McDonald’s Employee Jumps Through Drive-thru Window To Save Choking Woman

A Minnesota teen served up more than just burgers and fries during her Saturday shift at McDonald’s. Throughout the seven months 15-year-old Sydney Raley spent working at the McDonald’s in Eden Prairie, her biggest challenges consisted of handling the daily lunch rush. That is, until a seemingly-typical day at the drive-thru turned almost catastrophic.

The hard-working teen was in the midst of her weekend shift, taking orders and handing customers their food through the drive-thru window. Working in food service can be incredibly hectic, but Sydney’s attentiveness and quick thinking meant the difference between life and death for one customer. After handing a woman and her daughter their first bag of food, Sydney turned to check on the remainder of their order. When the 15-year-old went to update her customers, she noticed something was seriously wrong.

“She was coughing like crazy, and I noticed she was gagging.” Sydney told CNN. “Her daughter was in the passenger seat and she looked so freaked out. I immediately knew ‘Oh, no, she’s choking.'”

Sydney learned the Heimlich maneuver from a Red Cross class for babysitters years before, and almost automatically, her training kicked in. After instructing both her manager and the customer’s daughter to call 911, Sydney leaped through the drive-thru window to do whatever she could to save the woman’s life.

With the help of a bystander, Sydney dislodged the chicken nugget from the choking woman’s throat. Though the customer was still in a state of shock, her immense gratitude was evident. The heroic teen received a reward from the Edina Police Department for her heroism, and well-earned praise from her community as a whole.