A classic Adam Sandler flick, Waterboy got a resounding thumbs down from critics ahead of its 1998 debut. They turned their noses up at the acting, the story, and basically, everything else about the film. But the joke was on them, Waterboy and Bobby Boucher went on to slay at the box office, grossing a whopping $190 million globally against its tiny $20 million budget. That said, Sandler playing a character with developmental disabilities is cringe-worthy. One might argue that Tom Hanks did it, too, in Forrest Gump. But you only need a single viewing of each to see respect from Hanks and sheer irreverence from Sandler. But we all rooted for Bobby Boucher, and Sandler did too. While he didn’t accomplish even a fraction of what Gump did, he did go on to get his high school degree, win the football game, as well as marry the girl with his mama’s full blessing.
What Waterboy lacked in tact, it offered instead in hilarious one-liners and brutal cultural commentary. If you’re feeling nostalgic and want to relive some of those jokes, here are our favorite quotes and jokes from arguably one of Sandler’s best films.
Waterboy Quotes From Bobby Jr.
- “Seein? I see a lot of girls… I see a lot of guys too.”
- “And I like Vicki, and she like me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!”
- “Look who’s on TV, Mama — it’s the devil.”
- “No, You’re wrong Colonel Sanders.”
- “My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”
- “And by the way, Mama… alligators are ornery because of their medulla oblongata.”
- “Well I like school… and I like football… and I’m gonna keep doin’ ’em both because they make me feel good.”
- “So that’s what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like.”
- “Once again, I’m not quite sure what that means.”
- “Captain Insano shows no mercy!”
- “Now that’s what I call high-quality H2O.”
- “You do not have to… have to pay me. I-I will do it for free. Just promise me that you will never distribute the contents of that jug to any human person.”
- “Mama says that happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you feelin’ blue.”
- “Oh yea, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my Mama and Coach Klein at the same time.”
- “Remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl, do ya?”
Waterboy Quotes from the One and Only Mama
- “That’s nonsense, I invented electricity. Ben Franklin is the Devil!”
- “No son of mine is gonna play any foosball.”
- “Thanks, baby. Now you go on and have some fun becomin’ a man.”
- “School?! You’re going to school?! Aaaah!”
- “You gonna lose all your fancy “fools’ balls” games. And you’re gonna fail your big exam. Because school is –”
- “Foos-ball? Buncha overgrown monsters man-handlin’ each other… ‘Member when dat man wanted you to play foosball, Bobby?”
- “Are men supposed to wear pajamas featuring a cartoon character by the name of Deputy Dawg?”
- “I don’t believe in that sort of thing personally. Astrology is one of the many tools of the devil.”
- “You don’t have what they call “the social skills.” That’s why you never have any friends, ‘cept fo’ yo’ mama.”
- “It’s the devil.”
- “Bobby Boucher, what did Mama tell you about girls!”
Waterboy Quotes from Pretty Much Everyone Else
- “Well, Bobby Boucher, welcome to manhood. I’ll make sure to welcome you properly later.” — Vicki
- “There is something wrong with YOUR medulla oblongata.” — Professor
- “The medulla oblongata… is where anger, jealousy, and aggression come from. Now, is there anybody here who can tell me where happiness comes from? Anyone? All right, let’s hear what Mama has to say on the subject.” — Professor
- “Hey, remember the time Bobby tackled the referee by mistake?” — Derek Wallace
- “Yeah, that was pretty funny. How ’bout the time Bobby tackled the guy from Louisville and threw him into the stands?” — Lyle Robideaux
- “Y’all remember the time he intercepted the ball and his pants fell off, and he ran for the touchdown bare ass?” — Guy Grenouille
- “Let’s kick some names and take some ass!” — Walter
- “Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too.” — Coach Klein
- “Water sucks. It really really sucks. Water sucks.” — Coach Klein
- “Oh, no! We suck again!” — Townie
- “Hey, Walter! I bet you fifty bucks Guy Grenouille throws a touchdown pass on the first play. Check it out! (Interception is thrown.) Woo hoo hoo hoo! You owe me 50 bucks!” — Paco
- “I am not what you would call a handsome man. The good Lord chose not to bless me with… with charm, athletic ability… or a fully functional brain.” — Paco
- “Everybody already ‘is’ laughing at us. We haven’t won a game since 1994.” — Lyle Robideaux
- “Joe Montana was a quarterback, you idiot.” — Walter
- “You can do it. Cut his fucking head off.” — Townie