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Doc: "It was me, Marty, it was me all along." Marty: "What's the matter, Doc?" Doc: "I went back and saw things no one should." Dinosaur 1: "Long day?" Dinosaur 2: "Yeah, you could say I'm... DINO-SORE!" Doc: "I killed them Marty. I had to. I killed the dinosaurs. Every last one of them." Marty: "I DINO what to say, but... Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures." Movies, comic, funny
3.15

Make like the "p" in "pterodactyl" and be quiet

Chest pain in your 20's... "Better drink another Red Bull just to be safe..." Chest pain now "...so this is how it ends..." Comic, aging, health
3.15

If I drank an energy drink right now it would 100% be the end

Sign: "I use my kids as an excuse to buy Star Wars toys." Confession, entertainment, parenting
3.15

Not that you need an excuse

Michael Jackson (shake hands) Mario as the bank teller = "I'm gonna make a change." Tweet, music, video game
3.15

MAKE A CHANGE get it

When a pic of your cat gets 5 likes on Instagram. (Reading): "How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity" Books, animals, meme
3.15

I believe in you, do you believe in you?

Sign: "I actually enjoy my 11 year old daughter's taste in music." Confession, bonding, entertainment
3.15

Helps to have a really good reason to give it a fair shot

Waiting for my kids to pick out the perfect pumpkin. (Turns to skeleton). Meme, fall, Halloween
3.15

"5 more minutes!"

October 31st vs. November 1st. Meme, holidays, Halloween, Christmas
3.15

Pumpkins are out, wreaths are in

Kid: "Hey dad, Goofy's a dog right?" Dad: "Yup." Kid: "What about Pluto?" Dad: "He's a dog too." (Later) Dad, to wife: "Hey hun, Goofy's a dog right?" Comic, Disney, animals
3.15

Then why does Goofy wear pants but Pluto doesn't?

Nirvana. Decoration, art, candy corn
3.15

Smells like reject candy

I miss the days of the wild school lunch trade market. You go to school with one thing, and act like a frenzied day trader before sitting down to an entirely new lunch. I brought Gushers every day. Didn't even like em, but I knew how much they were worth on the inside. Food, nostalgia, tweet
3.15

Gushers were the holy grail of desserts.

Nothing makes a dad happier than using their snowblower after the season's first snow fall. Nature, outdoors, meme
3.15

Maybe the first good mow after the snow melts, but that's it